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Consultants
A man goes into a pet shop and enquires about the three monkeys on display.
"How much is that one?" he asks.
"That one costs £500" says the owner.
"£500, why?" asks the man
"Because it can program in C" says the owner
"How much is that one?" asks the man again, pointing towards the second one.
"That one costs £1500"
"Why"
"Because it can program in C++ and knows object orientated technology"
"How much is that one?" asks the man pointing at the last one.
"That one costs £3000"
"Why, what can it do?"
"Well I'm not sure. I've never seen it do anything, but it calls itself a consultant"
Prostitute Or A Consultant?
- You work very odd hours.
- You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
- You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
- You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
- You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.
- You are not proud of what you do.
- Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
- It's difficult to have a family.
- You have no job satisfaction.
- If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
- You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
- People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
- Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend.)
- Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other
"professionals."
- Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
- Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
- Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.
- Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
- You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's
not your problem.
- When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
- You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
- Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
- The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects
miracles from you.
- When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
- Everyday you wake up and tell yourself, "I'm not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life."
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