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One of Britain's new blow-wave comedians. |
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McDonnell Douglas Warranty This was posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour (and maybe too much time on his/her hands). The company, of course, does not have a sense of humour, and made the web department take it down immediately. READ the disclaimer at the end too - it's the best bit! Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires. 1. Your details [_] Mr. First Name: ...................... Password: .............................. (max. 8 char) Code Name: ...................... Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ............ 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? [_] F-14 Tomcat 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20... /.... /..... 4. Serial Number: .................. 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased: [_] Received as gift / aid package 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased: [_] Heard loud noise, looked up 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: [_] Style / appearance 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used: [_] North America 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all that apply): [_] Communist / Socialist 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? [_] Deficit spending 12. Your occupation: [_] Homemaker 13. To help us better understand our customers,
please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular [_] Golf Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department Military, Aerospace Division IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of
the individual Unless the word "absquatulation" has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours
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