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One of Britain's new blow-wave comedians. |
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Nigerian Letters (and the Congo)These are the same as French Letters, except that you are the one that gets f**ked because they offer no protection. FROM: COL. MICHAEL BUNDU. FROM: COL. MICHAEL BUNDU. Tel No: Your country Intl. access code +88216xxxxxxxx Dear Sir/Madam SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. Please permit me to make your acquaintance in so informal a manner. This is necessitated by my urgent need to reach a dependable and trust worthy foreign partner. This request may seem strange and unsolicited but I crave your indulgence and pray that you view it seriously. My name is COL. MICHAEL BUNDU of the Democratic Republic of Congo and one of the close aides to the former President of the Democratic Republic of Congo LAURENT KABILA of blessed memory, may his soul rest in peace. Due to the military campaign of LAURENT KABILA to force out the rebels in my country, I and some of my colleagues were instructed by Late President Kabila to go abroad to purchase arms and ammunition worth of Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only (US$20,500,000.00) to fight the rebel group. We were then given this money privately by the then President, LAURENT KABILA, without the knowledge of other Cabinet Members. But when President Kabila was killed in a bloody shoot-out by one of his bodyguards a day before we were schedule to travel out of Congo, We immediately decided to put the funds into a private security company here in Congo for safe keeping. The security of the said amount is presently being threatened here following the arrest and seizure of properties of Col. Rasheidi Karesava (One of the aides to Laurent Kabila) a tribesman, and some other Military Personnel from our same tribe, by the new President of the Democratic Republic of Congo, the son of late President Laurent Kabila, Joseph Kabila. In view of this, we need a reliable and trustworthy foreign partner who can assist us to move this money out of my country as the beneficiary. WE have sufficient ''CONTACTS'' here to move the fund under Diplomatic Cover to a security company in Europe in your name. This is to ensure that the Diplomatic Baggage is marked ''CONFIDENTIAL'' and it will not pass through normal custom/airport screening and clearance. Our inability to move this money out of Congo all this while stems from our lack of trust of our supposed good friends (western countries) who suddenly became hostile to those of us who worked with the late President Kabila, immediately after his son took office. Though we have neither seen nor met each other, the information We gathered from an associate who has worked in your country has encouraged and convinced us that with your sincere assistance, this transaction will be properly handled with modesty and honesty to a huge success within two weeks. The said money is a state fund and therefore requires a total confidentiality. We would please need you to stand on our behalf as the beneficiary of this fund in Europe. This is because we are under restricted movement and watch and hence we want to be very careful in order not to lose this fund which we have worked so hard for. Thus, if you are willing to assist us to move this fund out of Congo, you can contact me through my email addresses, Tel/Fax nos. above with your telephone, fax number and personal information to enable us discuss the modalities and what will be your share (percentage) for assisting us. Please note that There are no RISKS involved in this Deal as everyone's Security is Guaranteed if we follow the required guidelines. I will hence furnish you with further details of this Deal as soon as I am assured of your Sincere interest to assist us. I must use this opportunity and medium to implore you to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinarily confidential, Whatever your decision, while I await your prompt response. Thank you and God Bless. Best Regards COL. MICHAEL BUNDU (RTD). m_bundu@xxxxxxxx.xxx N\B. When you are calling my line, you dial your country Intl. access code, then you dial directly, do not include my country code i.e. (243). Just dial your country Intl. access code + 88216 xxxxxxxx or please email me on the above email addresses.
FROM: CHIEF CYP AYOOLA ATTN:THE PRESIDENT/CEO STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL Dear Sir, I am the Chief Scribe of the Newly Constituted OMPADEC (Oil Minerals producing Area Development Commission) This commission was reconstituted in 1998 by the Federal Government of Nigeria as a result of consistent Environmental Neglect agitated by the Oil and Minerals Producing States. This commission received a budgetary allocation of US$1.15 Billion for Environmental Maintenance/ Management of Oil producing states for the 2000/2001 Fiscal Year. In view of the present political situation in our country, I have agreed with my colleagues to withdraw the sum of US$25.5 Million (Twenty-Five Million,Five hundred thousand U. S. Dollars) as an Over-Invoice of a contract we awarded for the Environmental Maintenance. All modalities to ensure a hitch-free transfer of this fund into your account through the officials of Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) and Federal Ministry of Finance have been properly worked out. Note: There is no risks or dangers involved. N/B: I have agreed with my colleagues that after the business, you should keep 30% of the total fund; my colleagues and myself will take 65% while the remaining 5% is mapped out to cover the international and local expenses that might be incurred by both parties in the course of this transaction. If this proposal interest you of which I hope it would, please forward to me immediately the followings by e-mail address above. 1. Full company’s Name and Address As soon as we receive the above information from you, we shall immediately file up applications for approvals and payment follows. NOTE: You must maintain the topmost confidentiality of this transaction because we are top civil servants who would not joke with our reputation. Thanks. Best Regards,
REQUEST FOR CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS ASSISTANCE/TRANSACTION.. Firstly, I must crave your indulgence, by virtue of this contact to you, to please go through this message, with all seriousness, and give it a very confidential dispostion. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. A member of the Nigeria Export Promotion Council (N.E.P.C.) who was part of the federal government delegation to your country during a trade exhibition gave your particulars to me. I have decided to seek a confidential operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all the parties and hope that you keep it top secret because of the nature of the business. Within the ministry of petroleum resources where I work as a director of engineering and projects, and with the co-operation of four other very top officials, we have under our control as overdue contract payments, bills totaling Thirty One Million United States Dollars, which we want to transfer to a foreign account, with the assistance and co-operation of a reliable foreign individual account to receive the funds. The source of the fund is as follows: during the last military government here in Nigeria which lasted about eleven months, government officials set up companies and awarded themselves various contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various ministries. The present civilian government is not aware of the atrocities committed by their predecessors and as a result, we have a lot of such over invoiced contract payments pending which we have identified floating at the central bank of Nigeria ready for payment. However by virtue of our position as civil servants, we cannot acquire this money in our names. I was therefore delegated as a matter of urgency by my colleagues to look for an over seas partner into whose account we would transfer the sum of US$31,000,000.00 (THIRTY ONE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) hence we are writing you this letter. Since the present civilian government is determined to pay foreign contractors debts owed so as to maintain an amiable relationship with foreign governments and non-government financial agencies. We have decided to include our bills for approval with the co-operation of some officials of the federal ministry of finance (F.M.F) and the central bank of Nigeria (C.B.N). We are seeking your assistance in providing us with a good company account or any other offshore bank account into which we can remit this money by acting our main partner and trustee or acting as the original contractor. This we can do by swapping of account information and changing of beneficiary and other pertinent information to apply for payment. By this act, we would be using your company information to apply for payment, and prepare letters of claim and job description on behalf of your company. This process would be an internal arrangement with the departments concerned. I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that should you be willing to assist us in this transaction, your share as compensation will be us$6.2 million (20%), us$21.7 million (70%) for us and us$3.1 (10%) for taxation and miscellaneous expenses.We intend to use our share of the funds in importation of agro-allied machineries. This transaction is closely knitted and in view of our SENSITIVE POSITION we cannot afford a slip, I assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free. We will avail you with our identities as regards our respective offices, when relationship is fully established and smooth operation commences. I am at your disposition to entertain any question(s) from you in respect of this transaction, so contact me immediately via my direct email or my fax number 234 1 xxxxxxx for further information on the requirements and procedure. We are making arrangement for confidential telephone number because we cannot afford to use our official telephone number because of the nature of this transaction .Please note that this transaction needs utmost confidentiality and your immediate response will be highly appreciated. I will expound further the necessary details that you need to know, when I have heard from you. Thanks for your anticipated cooperation. Yours Faithfully, DR OJINI
From: LIBERTY CHAMBERS Direct fax : 234-1-xxxxxxx Good day, It is with trust and confidence that I make this urgent, important and confidential business proposal to you. I am a Thirty Nine (39) year old Attorney in practice here in Nigeria. One of my clients was late MR. SEOM GIM TCHII, a Taiwanese National (Now deceased). Three years ago, MR. TCHII secured a contract from the Federal Government of Nigeria valued at US$39Million. He received mobilization fee of US$15.6Million and successfully executed the contract, but the balance of the contract payment (US$23.4Million) is still unpaid. MR. TCHII was still pursuing the release of this money, when on June 2001, MR. TCHII, his wife and only daughter died in a ghastly motor accident in Lagos. They were buried two weeks after. The Federal Government of Nigeria has now directed (with a provision in this year's budget) the payment of all Contractors who have satisfactorily executed their Contracts. The payment is by quarterly disbursements. MR. TCHII'S Contract payment is among those approved for release this quarter. As his personal Attorney before his death, I have been officially notified and instructed to forward particulars of MR. TCHII'S next of kin so that the money can be remitted into his/her account. However, as attorney and close confidant of MR. TCHII, I know that he did not leave any WILL (because of his sudden death). This money will therefore be paid into the account of whoever I present as MR. TCHII'S next of kin with proof of affinity, affidavits and other documents. Simply, I intend to channel this money to the account of a clever but reliable person who upon successful payment of the funds, will earn 25% thereof, 70% will be for me and some Government officials who will assist me to approve the payment and 5% is to offset all expenses to be incurred in the documentation process. Your nationality does not matter as all modalities have been concluded to present the person as TCHII'S next of kin and consequently, the beneficiary of the fund. This transaction will take about 14 working days to conclude as soon as you indicate your interest. For prompt action, contact me urgently through email or fax: 234-1-xxxxxxx or call my direct line: 234-1-xxxxxxx. Regards,
Dear Sir, First, I must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and "top secret". We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds that are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business, we solicit your assistance to enable us transfer into your account the said-trapped funds. The source of the fund is as follows: During the regime of the last Military transitional government of Gen. Abdulsalami Abubakar, government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over invoiced in various ministries. The present democratic government of President Olusegun Obasanjo set up the Contract Review Panel and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds that are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria ready for payment. However, by virtue of our position as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names. My colleagues in the panel have therefore delegated me as a matter of trust, to look for an oversea partner into whose account we would transfer the sum of US$31,320,000.00 (Thirty-One Million, Three Hundred and Twenty thousand United States Dollars) in which we hope to use in purchasing Agro Allied Equipment, and to enable us to own properties and invest in the stable economy of your country. Hence, we are sending you this email message. We have agreed to share the money thus: (1). 20% for the account owner (you) (2). 70% for us (the officials of the CRP) (3). 10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses. Please acknowledge receipt of this message for proper briefing on the safe modality for the execution to Email: rasheedbako@xxxxxxxxxx.xxx Yours faithfully NOTE: PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (RB/09/02) IN ALL OUR REPONSE.
FROM: MR TEMI JOHNSON
EMAIL:temijohnson@xxxxxxxxx.xxx Dear Sir, SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. Please Permit me to make your acquaintance in so informal a manner. This is necessitated by my urgent need to reach a dependable and trust wordy foreign partner. This request may seem strange and unsolicited but I will crave your indulgence and pray that you view it seriously. My name is MR TEMI JOHNSON of the Democratic Republic of Congo and One of the close aides to the former President of the Democratic Republic of Congo LAURENT KABILA of blessed memory, may his soul rest in peace. Due to the military campaign of LAURENT KABILA to force out the rebels in my country, I and some of my colleagues were instructed by Late President Kabila to go abroad to purchase arms and ammunition worth of Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only (US$20,500,000.00) to fight the rebel group. But when President Kabila was killed in a bloody shoot-out by one of his aide a day before we were schedule to travel out of Congo, We immediately decided to divert the fund into a private security company here in Congo for safe keeping. The security of the said amount is presently being threatened here following the arrest and seizure of properties of Col. Rasheidi Karesava (One of the aides to Laurent Kabila) a tribesman, and some other Military Personnel from our same tribe, by the new President of the Democratic Republic of Congo, the son of late President Laurent Kabila, Joseph Kabila. In view of this, we need a reliable and trustworthy foreign partner who can assist us to move this money out of my country as the beneficiary. WE have sufficient ''CONTACTS'' to move the fund under Diplomatic Cover to a security company in the europe in your name. This is to ensure that the Diplomatic Baggage is marked ''CONFIDENTIAL'' and it will not pass through normal custom/airport screening and clearance. Our inability to move this money out of Congo all This while lies on our lack of trust on our supposed good friends (western countries) who suddenly became hostile to those of us who worked with the late President Kabila, immediately after his son took office. Though we have neither seen nor met each other, the information We gathered from an associate who has worked in your country has encouraged and convinced us that with your sincere assistance, this transaction will be properly handled with modesty and honesty to a huge success within two weeks. The said money is a state fund and therefore requires a total confidentiality. Thus, if you are willing to assist us move this fund out of Congo, you can contact me through my email address above with your telephone, fax number and personal information to enable us discuss the modalities and what will be your share (percentage) for assisting us. I must use this opportunity and medium to implore You to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this Matter extraordinarily confidential, Whatever your Decision, while I await your prompt response. Thank you and GodBless. Best Regards MR TEMI JOHNSON
oooo Better still, make me rich, without any of the above fuss and bother, by sending your credit card and bank account numbers to my associate, Teresa Green Or, take a look at this link: http://www.secretservice.gov/alert419.shtml |