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A bachelor is one who ...

• never makes the same mistake once.
• is footloose and fiancé free.
• never Mrs. a girl.
• avoids bride-eyed women.
• believes in life, liberty and the happiness of pursuit.
• believes in wine, women and so-long.
• believes that one can live as cheaply as two.
• can forget his mistakes.
• can get into bed from either side.
• can go fishing anytime, until he gets hooked.
• can have a girl on his knee without having her on his hands.
• can leave his socks and wallet lying around the house.
• can tell his symptoms to his doctor without having his wife interrupt.
• can't be spouse-broken.
• can't stand the strain of a wife.
• cheated some woman out of a divorce.
• doesn't have to leave the party when he starts having a good time.
• failed to embrace his opportunities.
• is a free male.
• is allergic to wedding cakes.
• is foot-loose and family-free.
• is known as a dame dropper.
• is not missing anything in life except a few buttons on his shirt.
• knows all the ankles.
• knows how to hold a woman's hand so that she doesn't get a grip on him.
• knows if he has a steady girl on the string he may wind up on a leash.
• knows more about women than men. That's why he is a bachelor.
• leans toward a woman but not far enough to fall.
• likes his girl friend just the way she is...single!!!!
• looks, but does not leap.
• never chases a woman he couldn't outrun.
• never knows whom the next kiss is coming from.
• never makes the same mistake once.
• never met a girl he couldn't live without.
• never Mrs anything.
• never says, "I'll give you a ring tomorrow!"
• plays the game of love and manages to retain his amateur outstanding.
• prefers ripe tomatoes with little dressing.
• thinks he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
• travels fastest in a parked car.
• tries to avoid the issue.
• usually has his hands full trying to loosen a woman's grip.
• wakes up in the morning with all of the blankets.
• washes only one set of dishes.
• when a girl asks him for a diamond ring, he turns stone-deaf.
• when he opens the window in his apartment, more dust blows out than in.
• would rather mend his socks than his ways.
• won't take `yes' for an answer.
• would rather change girls than change their names.
• would rather cook his own goose.
• would rather have a woman on his mind than on his neck.